chaos...
i really dont know what 2 typ here in a way. everything is just upside down and i dont know whatta hell 2 do abt that. i cant do anything and it irritates me. dont know what i feel or what i think, chaos all the time, no ending and no beggining. everything all the time, non-stop.
my mind is thinking thousand thoughts all the time and i dont even know whatta hell im thinking on. i dont know where 2 begin to try finding the start of all this, i dont even know if all my feelings are real or made up.
how did it became like this? why now and why me?
im living in a bubble, and i have a window/door that lets me see the world outside once in a while, and when the connection isnt there the window/door is closed and im back in the black bubble, i cant get out on my own. black cloud is poisoning (dont know how 2 spell) my mind and i cant do anything abt that. i cant stop it. the devil on my shoulder keeps saying stuff in my ear and i cant stop listning because, i dont know if its he's words or my true feelings.
im not myself atm. i dont know this version of me and this is scaring me all the time. i've never feelt this way before and i dont know how 2 handle it. im in a shut down mode where the reallity still keeps going and im just standing still and dont even understand that all other things still goes on.
panicattacks, nightmares, anxiety, emptyness, cold, wierd, chock, insecure, alone, fed up.
when are everything getting back 2 normal? or is this the new life? and if it is, for how long will it last...?
my mind is thinking thousand thoughts all the time and i dont even know whatta hell im thinking on. i dont know where 2 begin to try finding the start of all this, i dont even know if all my feelings are real or made up.
how did it became like this? why now and why me?
im living in a bubble, and i have a window/door that lets me see the world outside once in a while, and when the connection isnt there the window/door is closed and im back in the black bubble, i cant get out on my own. black cloud is poisoning (dont know how 2 spell) my mind and i cant do anything abt that. i cant stop it. the devil on my shoulder keeps saying stuff in my ear and i cant stop listning because, i dont know if its he's words or my true feelings.
im not myself atm. i dont know this version of me and this is scaring me all the time. i've never feelt this way before and i dont know how 2 handle it. im in a shut down mode where the reallity still keeps going and im just standing still and dont even understand that all other things still goes on.
panicattacks, nightmares, anxiety, emptyness, cold, wierd, chock, insecure, alone, fed up.
when are everything getting back 2 normal? or is this the new life? and if it is, for how long will it last...?
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